A lesson in expression...

For most of my adult life I have been asking the question…. How do I overcome anxiety & judgement? What is the best way to share the deepest corners of my psyche in an authentic manner? Of course creation is my purest form of self expression but how can I allow people to truly know me? Drifting heart, drifting mind I create so that I can relate. Vanity has always been my insanity & like most, my life has been a complex labyrinth of love, turmoil, uncertainty & insecurity. Searching for answers in a black & white mirage I have spent much of my life isolating & internalizing. Fearful of everyone, everything, but most of all myself; reconnecting with nature brought light back into my soul, mixing like water in ink, creating swirls of grey. That grey is the world we live in, where absolutes are crutches for the insecure to plant firmly in order to balance their wavering beliefs. Being somewhat of a nerd, I feel most “super hero’s” have three forms of evolution. First form would be original form. I would consider this to be the time of innocence spanning from birth to the first traumatic experience. For many, that initial trauma comes right after birth or sometimes even during. Second form integrates demons. This is a period of tremendous self discovery. It is recognizing personal demons & learning how to build heathy bonds internally & externally. This stage can take years or even a lifetime. Third form is being bonded. Balanced. The being that is able to transcend the petty & rise above turmoil, helping ground all they surround. Trauma is a part of the fabric that makes up our humanity. The ability to painstakingly go over details of these experiences either cripples or strengthens, often both… but without that rain, there can be no rainbow. We wake up asking why some have so much while others have so little, questioning & wondering how much control we really have. Does free will exist or are we are just following the steps placed before us down destinies road? I don’t have the answers. Nobody does. We can speculate all we want but truth is we are all hyper-critical beings processing the same information through different lenses. Unique at our cores & yet profoundly connected; can absolute truth exist? We fight each other like we fight ourselves, burning bridges over minor disagreements working with or against the grain towards something we feel is real. Real… Reality is a figment of the imagination grounded in false reassurance given by those around us. Create what you’ve always wanted to see. We are the hero’s we’ve been waiting for.

#text #artistblog #foodforthought

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